Sore Thumb

You have probably all heard the saying "stick out like a sore thumb." If not, then now you have. Since I was younger I always thought there was something weird about me. Maybe not weird, but "different."
First, I had HUGE glasses growing up. So, I was classified as pretty nerdy. Then I had really poofy hair to go along with the glasses, and I became nerdy and geeky. After that came the truth that I was a HOMESCHOOLER - yeah, so my nerdy/geeky level got bumped up about ten notches, and then I was weird also. Next came the fact that I was a dancer; you wouldn't think that weird now, but I got teased relentlessly for it when I was younger.
All this goes to say part of me has always felt like "I do not belong here."
When I was eight years old I wanted to be a missionary and a dancer. Here I am, well on my way to those two things. How did I know it would happen? I was eight...

This whole "feeling out of place thing" has been around forever. I always thought it was because of the people who picked on me in one place, or the next. Now I realize it as a completely different situation.
I don't want any of what is here, and there is nothing wrong with what's here, but it doesn't belong to me.
I don't want a cookie cutter house, I don't want a Saturday afternoon routine, and I don't want to be stuck in one place right now.

I fell in love with a sanctuary lit by 60 watt light bulbs, with an acoustic guitar, and an audience for a choir. So I asked myself in church today "what am I doing here?"
This place has these standards of what is materialistically appropriate, yet we speak about wanting to "go back to nature."
Aren't the stars more beautiful than a disco ball? Isn't a sunrise more beautiful than the coffee mug in your hand at noon? All of these things were given to us, freely and we put it away even for church service.

This is the "weird" stuff that I thought was just me being weird. I'm an adventurer, explorer.. world changer if you dare to call it that. And, I do not belong in the middle of a concrete man-made world. I'm blessed to have acknowledged my 'weirdness' as what it really is now, instead of 50 years from now. I can't wait to really live it out; where ever it shall be!

Dievs ir labs! Ja? ;)