On the flight from London to Houston I had the privilege of meeting the three stooges. These guys were in there 60's-brothers-and absolutely hilarious. I had made a joke with them before boarding the plane and then got to sit across the isle from them on the flight, which means 10 hours of bonding time. The gentlemen had been walking around Europe with each other, going to jazz bars in Paris and all those fun things. They asked what I had been doing there and we got to share stories of where we were and what we did.
Towards the beginning of the flight the chair in front of Derril was broken, and would lean all the way back for the whole flight. There was only one chair to exchange with and it was right in the middle... gross! These three guys were pretty big, so I could tell he was going to be REALLY uncomfortable if he stayed that way the whole flight. So, I offered him my seat and all was well in the world of traveling. haha! Ron told the flight attendant to put me in first class... I wouldn't have minded going... but it was just a seat change.
At the end of the flight Derril said thank you, and then told me one of the nicest thing a stranger has ever said to me. He said "You are going to be one of those people who brings peace with you where ever you go. You are a world changer, I can just see it. God bless you."
I really didn't know what to say; what an incredibly lovely thing to say to a stranger. So, Thank you very VERY much Larry, Ron and Derril for a wonderful trip! You guys were great.
Upon entering into the U.S. I was given extra paper work and asked for my visa. A little confusing, but I ended up clearing up that I was actually an American citizen. I am not sure why they didn't think so...
None of our luggage made it, but that's fine really. It isn't like I don't have clothes to wear. We walked out of baggage claim and up to my mother, it was SO nice to see her! =) It was weird to think that it's been 8 weeks! The very first thing I do is buy a caramel macchiato from Starbucks, and then it was off for mexican food! The restaurant was SO loud, the food was great- but we were ready to go home.
I slept almost all of the car ride home, and then passed out once I got here-after I hugged everyone at least once, of course.
Now, I'm trying to get used to my cell-phone again, getting used to seeing so many cars may take a while. I really am enjoying home though. It's nice to be back.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The traveling continues...
So, since I kept all of my Americans up to date on what I was doing while I was in Latvia, I figured I could do the same for my favorite Latvians also. =)
I am currently sitting in Copenhagen airport. The plan leaving Latvia was the hardest part... I had been doing okay, you know? I was happy to be going home, sad to be leaving. That kind of thing.. but MAN. The plane leaving the ground nearly killed me.
I wanted to just yell for the pilot to stop and let me out, weird.
Anyways, I already can't wait for next Summer. Don't get me wrong Americans, I am really excited to be going to school! I will have my new apartment, new friendship opportunities, but my heart has a little chunk stolen from it every time I come and go from Latvia... it is just the way it is.
I am enjoying watching all the people here in the airport, Tony is sitting here reading through an Italian newspaper, the guards are walking by acting all awesome, and I'm sitting in front of a perfume store... it smells nice. But not like flowers-- bummer.
Well, I'm off I suppose. About to go and check gates. I sure hope that I'm in the right place!
Here is to the travels! Lets sing a new verse to this song, shall we?
I am currently sitting in Copenhagen airport. The plan leaving Latvia was the hardest part... I had been doing okay, you know? I was happy to be going home, sad to be leaving. That kind of thing.. but MAN. The plane leaving the ground nearly killed me.
I wanted to just yell for the pilot to stop and let me out, weird.
Anyways, I already can't wait for next Summer. Don't get me wrong Americans, I am really excited to be going to school! I will have my new apartment, new friendship opportunities, but my heart has a little chunk stolen from it every time I come and go from Latvia... it is just the way it is.
I am enjoying watching all the people here in the airport, Tony is sitting here reading through an Italian newspaper, the guards are walking by acting all awesome, and I'm sitting in front of a perfume store... it smells nice. But not like flowers-- bummer.
Well, I'm off I suppose. About to go and check gates. I sure hope that I'm in the right place!
Here is to the travels! Lets sing a new verse to this song, shall we?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
We'll Make an Adventure of it!
When I came to Latvia... I was completely different. And I do mean completely.
My intention for the trip was never for a "self-help" Summer. Actually, quite the opposite. I was considering not coming because of the state of emotional destruction my heart was in. I wasn't sure that I would be able to tell people about God's love if I couldn't even say that I REALLY believed in it. I remember this one conversation I had with a friend before coming. She told me "Don't even begin to believe that lie! You were made to go there. Your heart was made to tell about love. It is just... who you are." For some reason or another, I listened to her. Of all the ignoring I have done in my lifetime this was a moment I slipped up. I listened. I can not say "thank you" enough to that person... I mean, really.
My whole time here has been like home for my spirit. Since the second I got here I knew that I was supposed to be here, that I am supposed to be here later. It's just something I know...
God has been able to use my story, my life, (good and bad) for things I never thought possible. That's why He's God, and He is so much better at it than I was, back when I was trying to be.
My last full day in Cesis was today, and how incredible it was! We made an adventure of it. I went up in the church tower, higher than is allowed, but who will ever know? (...anyone who reads this.) After that Marta took me to this old graveyard, and yes I suppose your average person would be like "greeaaat" but this really was so enjoyable! Such a beautiful place.
After that we walked down to the river and onto this really cool nature path. We drank from the spring, climbed up a cliff and into a cave, walked in water that was probably freezing temp. (not even kidding) and enjoyed the view from our little island.
We met up with everyone and then just got to relax and enjoy each other's company. It was the best way for me to say "I love you" to everyone. By just sitting with them and laughing and talking about things that don't matter. We've got the silly pictures to prove it!
All this goes to say that I am so much more "Amanda" now. I plan to keep it this way, I like who I am when I'm trusting God instead of myself. I do more daring things, I say more daring things, and I love like there is no tomorrow. What better way to live than living in His presence?
Weeks ago I wanted to be able to say "My chains are gone, I've been set free" and mean it... and here it is.
My chains are GONE, and I have been set free.
I mean every word of that.
My intention for the trip was never for a "self-help" Summer. Actually, quite the opposite. I was considering not coming because of the state of emotional destruction my heart was in. I wasn't sure that I would be able to tell people about God's love if I couldn't even say that I REALLY believed in it. I remember this one conversation I had with a friend before coming. She told me "Don't even begin to believe that lie! You were made to go there. Your heart was made to tell about love. It is just... who you are." For some reason or another, I listened to her. Of all the ignoring I have done in my lifetime this was a moment I slipped up. I listened. I can not say "thank you" enough to that person... I mean, really.
My whole time here has been like home for my spirit. Since the second I got here I knew that I was supposed to be here, that I am supposed to be here later. It's just something I know...
God has been able to use my story, my life, (good and bad) for things I never thought possible. That's why He's God, and He is so much better at it than I was, back when I was trying to be.
My last full day in Cesis was today, and how incredible it was! We made an adventure of it. I went up in the church tower, higher than is allowed, but who will ever know? (...anyone who reads this.) After that Marta took me to this old graveyard, and yes I suppose your average person would be like "greeaaat" but this really was so enjoyable! Such a beautiful place.
After that we walked down to the river and onto this really cool nature path. We drank from the spring, climbed up a cliff and into a cave, walked in water that was probably freezing temp. (not even kidding) and enjoyed the view from our little island.
We met up with everyone and then just got to relax and enjoy each other's company. It was the best way for me to say "I love you" to everyone. By just sitting with them and laughing and talking about things that don't matter. We've got the silly pictures to prove it!
All this goes to say that I am so much more "Amanda" now. I plan to keep it this way, I like who I am when I'm trusting God instead of myself. I do more daring things, I say more daring things, and I love like there is no tomorrow. What better way to live than living in His presence?
Weeks ago I wanted to be able to say "My chains are gone, I've been set free" and mean it... and here it is.
My chains are GONE, and I have been set free.
I mean every word of that.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
The Stranger Stopped the Bus..
I have always been taught that the way you treat people, wether or not you can understand them, was very important.
Several weeks ago on the Baltic Sea trip with the church group the bus driver (from the bus the group had rented) was one of the people that I applied this everyday upbringing with. When we dined I made sure he had enough food, etc... just kind of my serving personality. Coming from the family that I do it is so natural for me to make sure everyone at the table has food and drink and is comfortable.
Despite the huge language barrier, and little time spent together, this bus driver and I became friends. I appreciated his work for us, and he appreciated our group.. (I feel)
anywhoooo
I was going to Riga on friday, and was about to miss my bus, due to incorrect reading and anxious spacey-ness. I was walking out of the station and ran into the driver from our trip, I stopped him and asked how he was doing, (little bit of Latvian that I know.) He introduced me to his friend from work and I showed him my ticket to ask where it was I was supposed to be. He pointed to the bus that warming up to leave. I understood a few words from him "RUN! FAST!" I start running after the bus as it starts to drive off.
I stop running and consider just buying another ticket for a different time, easy to fix, no big deal. Then I look over and I see the almost stranger running after the bus for me. Now, usually the average nice person that you've only met once would just tell you when the next bus was and make sure you got to the right place; nope. Not this guy, not this stranger.
The bus stopped in the middle of the road and I climbed on. I couldn't really say "thank you" enough. It was so touching to me.
I suppose the story sounds kind of simple, but in so many different ways it was confirmation that I'm always looked out for. I was happy that it was that bus driver, from that one trip, that I took that one week. And I'm glad that it was that one meal, that I made sure he wasn't in the least bit hungry, and that for some reason or another we have this understanding that we're friends. Though neither of us know the other's name.
sometimes God just knows when you need to know you're looked out for, and that was that moment.
Needless to say, it was a great bus ride.
Several weeks ago on the Baltic Sea trip with the church group the bus driver (from the bus the group had rented) was one of the people that I applied this everyday upbringing with. When we dined I made sure he had enough food, etc... just kind of my serving personality. Coming from the family that I do it is so natural for me to make sure everyone at the table has food and drink and is comfortable.
Despite the huge language barrier, and little time spent together, this bus driver and I became friends. I appreciated his work for us, and he appreciated our group.. (I feel)
anywhoooo
I was going to Riga on friday, and was about to miss my bus, due to incorrect reading and anxious spacey-ness. I was walking out of the station and ran into the driver from our trip, I stopped him and asked how he was doing, (little bit of Latvian that I know.) He introduced me to his friend from work and I showed him my ticket to ask where it was I was supposed to be. He pointed to the bus that warming up to leave. I understood a few words from him "RUN! FAST!" I start running after the bus as it starts to drive off.
I stop running and consider just buying another ticket for a different time, easy to fix, no big deal. Then I look over and I see the almost stranger running after the bus for me. Now, usually the average nice person that you've only met once would just tell you when the next bus was and make sure you got to the right place; nope. Not this guy, not this stranger.
The bus stopped in the middle of the road and I climbed on. I couldn't really say "thank you" enough. It was so touching to me.
I suppose the story sounds kind of simple, but in so many different ways it was confirmation that I'm always looked out for. I was happy that it was that bus driver, from that one trip, that I took that one week. And I'm glad that it was that one meal, that I made sure he wasn't in the least bit hungry, and that for some reason or another we have this understanding that we're friends. Though neither of us know the other's name.
sometimes God just knows when you need to know you're looked out for, and that was that moment.
Needless to say, it was a great bus ride.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Unending Love
It is funny to me the reactions I get when I say "The love I'm talking about is absolute love for an enemy--in the absolute sense that you would die for them to live."
I said this to the youth today, we got to have a pretty good discussion tonight. Agnese and Emils lead everything (and they did great.) Over all, we had a small group. But there was this one person there, that I know really needed to have the word "love" defined for them in an unconditional sense.
After I had said that, I said- some one did that for you. Jesus let Himself be nailed to a cross, died, and rose again when we still hated Him...(though I can't take credit for those words... due to my uncanny ability to forget everything when speaking to groups of people, however small.) This single person's jaw dropped, and they gasped. I mean, really? Never had this kind of love been explained to her.
What made it even better, is that I had needed to hear those words myself. I have recited things like "Jesus loves you" sine I could talk, but tonight those words were absolute reality. And I do mean absolute.
Journal entry after journal entry is related to love.
"Lord, help me love"-"Why do I avoid love?"-"I love mexican food"-"How can I possibly love something so screwed up, how can I love this... me"
All of these things are mentioned over and over again in my own personal leather book...
Tonight I hit a glimpse of that love that I crave daily; and it brings me to tears. How absolutely loved am I? Are you?
Wow...
hey,
I love you.
I said this to the youth today, we got to have a pretty good discussion tonight. Agnese and Emils lead everything (and they did great.) Over all, we had a small group. But there was this one person there, that I know really needed to have the word "love" defined for them in an unconditional sense.
After I had said that, I said- some one did that for you. Jesus let Himself be nailed to a cross, died, and rose again when we still hated Him...(though I can't take credit for those words... due to my uncanny ability to forget everything when speaking to groups of people, however small.) This single person's jaw dropped, and they gasped. I mean, really? Never had this kind of love been explained to her.
What made it even better, is that I had needed to hear those words myself. I have recited things like "Jesus loves you" sine I could talk, but tonight those words were absolute reality. And I do mean absolute.
Journal entry after journal entry is related to love.
"Lord, help me love"-"Why do I avoid love?"-"I love mexican food"-"How can I possibly love something so screwed up, how can I love this... me"
All of these things are mentioned over and over again in my own personal leather book...
Tonight I hit a glimpse of that love that I crave daily; and it brings me to tears. How absolutely loved am I? Are you?
Wow...
hey,
I love you.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
And in addition
So, I know I wrote just yesterday, and honestly all I've done today has been sleeping. (I'm feeling a bit sick.. well, a lot sick. but whatever) yet there is this absolutely AMAZING thing for me to write about.
Since before I left to come to Latvia, and all through the time I've been here the scripture I have said to myself over and over and over again has been Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."
I have been asked to do things on this trip that I could not have done on my strength-emotional, physical or spiritual.
Things like forgiveness, teaching hip hop, being patient (with people and with myself,) and picking up the language here.
All of these moments and more have been done with my repetitive reminder that I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
The last day of camp I was given a book mark, with a scripture written on it in Latvian, I saw it this morning and thought I would look it up and see what it was in English...
There it was.
"I can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me strength."
I needed that this morning, really. Because I have a lot of kids here who won't do anything because they are afraid they won't succeed. I need to continue to tell them that, it isn't them. Ever. And I need to show them how to surrender.
God is good-always good.
Since before I left to come to Latvia, and all through the time I've been here the scripture I have said to myself over and over and over again has been Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."
I have been asked to do things on this trip that I could not have done on my strength-emotional, physical or spiritual.
Things like forgiveness, teaching hip hop, being patient (with people and with myself,) and picking up the language here.
All of these moments and more have been done with my repetitive reminder that I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.
The last day of camp I was given a book mark, with a scripture written on it in Latvian, I saw it this morning and thought I would look it up and see what it was in English...
There it was.
"I can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me strength."
I needed that this morning, really. Because I have a lot of kids here who won't do anything because they are afraid they won't succeed. I need to continue to tell them that, it isn't them. Ever. And I need to show them how to surrender.
God is good-always good.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Dievs ir labs!
Wow, so sorry for it being over a week since I last wrote anything about Latvia. The past 6 days have been spent at a camp working with kids/teaching hip hop (fun stuff, lemme tell ya)
So many great experiences in the past week, and several new friends to keep up with in the upcoming year away from everyone here. I'll kinda write for you a few of my journal entries from my time at camp. Sound good? good.
Day 2- morning.
We left around 3 yesterday afternoon, two ice creams and one redbull later we are here. I'm excited to start the week! I'm praying that God will give me these dances for the kids. Because, I have a) not done hip hop in forever and b) not taught dance.. in FOREVER. pray pray pray.
Day 3-
The kids got here this afternoon, and they are tons of fun and SO adorable. Oh, I forgot to mention that I got called a missionary for the first time ever yesterday, it caught my off guard. Like... seriously.
I can't help but think about all the time (since I was 8) that I wanted to be a missionary. Now, I finally get called one and part of me goes .. "no.. no not really. Maybe some day soon"
I start teaching dances tomorrow, I'm nervous but I keep reminding myself that these things I'm stressing over I am absolutely not in control of.
Day 5-
There is something about rubbing the back of and singing to a crying child that gives you time to think about all you ever really want. One of Agnese's girls was crying tonight. I suppose she (anna) just missed home. She doesn't know much english at all, and I know very little Latvian but some how there is always a way to communicate. Love. I'm telling you, Jesus had it right when he said (well everything!) but what stood out to me this night was "The greatest of these is love." I remember journal entries from a month ago of me praying for God to show me how to love again. It had been so long since I really loved anyone/anything. Seriously.
Also, as I sat there humming Amazing Grace to Anna I thought about all I ever want when I'm sad. It's always that something I never really get. Most of the time. When I'm crying out of complete sadness, (not just exhaustion, or hunger, or something. But sadness) I want some one to hold me really close and sing me a song. Turns out, that is all Anna wanted too. Go figure. It was that easy.
Day 6-
I realized I sat there around the camp fire singing that I am holding on to soooo much. I'm holding onto the scars, the memories, the sorrow... like... seriously? I walked up to Annija and asked her to pray for me. Afterwards she said to me "It isn't about asking and being given an answer. It is about saying 'Jesus, I love You. And I will follow You where ever You go.'" That is all. This whole time I've been somewhat angry about never getting an answer for those things that hurt me deeply. Or being sad about the very little bits of my heart that were left over from it all. But here it was... so simple. I love You, and I will follow You where ever You go.
And now, Home sweet Latvian home. I got a shower, coke, candy, potato chips and a big ol' comfy bed. What more could I need?
I'm happy to be back, I feel like the camp went so well, and in addition to great experiences and growth in my walk with God, I've gained so many friends. Friends that I can share my love of Christ with.
What a week, and what weeks to come. It is however weird to not have the guys in the flat. So boys, if you're reading this, I miss your presence in the flat! Also, if you miss me just make a pot of coffee in the morning. haha!
Goodnight, and I'll write again soon!
So many great experiences in the past week, and several new friends to keep up with in the upcoming year away from everyone here. I'll kinda write for you a few of my journal entries from my time at camp. Sound good? good.
Day 2- morning.
We left around 3 yesterday afternoon, two ice creams and one redbull later we are here. I'm excited to start the week! I'm praying that God will give me these dances for the kids. Because, I have a) not done hip hop in forever and b) not taught dance.. in FOREVER. pray pray pray.
Day 3-
The kids got here this afternoon, and they are tons of fun and SO adorable. Oh, I forgot to mention that I got called a missionary for the first time ever yesterday, it caught my off guard. Like... seriously.
I can't help but think about all the time (since I was 8) that I wanted to be a missionary. Now, I finally get called one and part of me goes .. "no.. no not really. Maybe some day soon"
I start teaching dances tomorrow, I'm nervous but I keep reminding myself that these things I'm stressing over I am absolutely not in control of.
Day 5-
There is something about rubbing the back of and singing to a crying child that gives you time to think about all you ever really want. One of Agnese's girls was crying tonight. I suppose she (anna) just missed home. She doesn't know much english at all, and I know very little Latvian but some how there is always a way to communicate. Love. I'm telling you, Jesus had it right when he said (well everything!) but what stood out to me this night was "The greatest of these is love." I remember journal entries from a month ago of me praying for God to show me how to love again. It had been so long since I really loved anyone/anything. Seriously.
Also, as I sat there humming Amazing Grace to Anna I thought about all I ever want when I'm sad. It's always that something I never really get. Most of the time. When I'm crying out of complete sadness, (not just exhaustion, or hunger, or something. But sadness) I want some one to hold me really close and sing me a song. Turns out, that is all Anna wanted too. Go figure. It was that easy.
Day 6-
I realized I sat there around the camp fire singing that I am holding on to soooo much. I'm holding onto the scars, the memories, the sorrow... like... seriously? I walked up to Annija and asked her to pray for me. Afterwards she said to me "It isn't about asking and being given an answer. It is about saying 'Jesus, I love You. And I will follow You where ever You go.'" That is all. This whole time I've been somewhat angry about never getting an answer for those things that hurt me deeply. Or being sad about the very little bits of my heart that were left over from it all. But here it was... so simple. I love You, and I will follow You where ever You go.
And now, Home sweet Latvian home. I got a shower, coke, candy, potato chips and a big ol' comfy bed. What more could I need?
I'm happy to be back, I feel like the camp went so well, and in addition to great experiences and growth in my walk with God, I've gained so many friends. Friends that I can share my love of Christ with.
What a week, and what weeks to come. It is however weird to not have the guys in the flat. So boys, if you're reading this, I miss your presence in the flat! Also, if you miss me just make a pot of coffee in the morning. haha!
Goodnight, and I'll write again soon!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
writers block, hand cramps, and little time.
My apologies for not having more blogging done these past few days. A long with our regular meetings with youth I've been helping get stuff ready for the American team to get here!
They arrived safe and sound, minus a few... several... bags on Saturday evening. It was soooo great to see every one! We have already got everything going full speed ahead. The folks are ready for building, ready for relationships and ready for TONS of fun!
I wish it wasn't so difficult for me to write right now... but unfortunately my mind isn't running on full battery at the moment. It's time to rest, tomorrow is a time to work, and this whole week is a time to enjoy!
goodnight, and I apologies again for the itty bitty blog.
They arrived safe and sound, minus a few... several... bags on Saturday evening. It was soooo great to see every one! We have already got everything going full speed ahead. The folks are ready for building, ready for relationships and ready for TONS of fun!
I wish it wasn't so difficult for me to write right now... but unfortunately my mind isn't running on full battery at the moment. It's time to rest, tomorrow is a time to work, and this whole week is a time to enjoy!
goodnight, and I apologies again for the itty bitty blog.
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